


Save me from my nightmares

by Lashtonsegg



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer
Genre: M/M, Michael is mentioned in one line, My First AO3 Post, Self Harm, cute but badly written ending, don't hate me, sad!Ashton, sad!Luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6118791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lashtonsegg/pseuds/Lashtonsegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little sad Lashton blurb but it gets better at the end. I'm really bad at summaries so just try it out please.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save me from my nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it I know it's not great but I hope it's good enough to finish reading.

Damn it how did he end up in here again? Alone and crying. This godforsaken bathroom had to many memories. To many bad memories that ashton couldn't even adhere to the majority of them. Most of them all seen through blurry eyes and blood stained tiles. He couldn't help himself though, the thoughts running through his mind control him, they have since he was eleven. And now at nineteen his hands shake looking up at the blade whispering continuously about how bad he fucked up. It's hard knowing that if he picks up this blade he'll be disappointing everyone, the fans, his family, his band, Luke. Knowing that weeks of trying hard to think about everything else but the itching under his skin will go down the toilet like tonight's dinner before having time to digest.

What will everyone think of him, what will Luke think of him when he finds out he redrew old scars. The two had been together for over a year now and Luke has been there the whole way through this struggle trying to help but not getting very far. 'But that's ok' Luke tells him 'it takes time to get through these things you're not going to feel better in one night it takes time' though, Ashton didn't want to take time he wanted to stop feeling this way, he was tired, he was tired. Tired. Although sleep couldn't help this tired only a blade, pills, or vodka (or maybe all three) could help this tired. He cringed as he thought back to his multiple mistakes at the concert a few days ago, messing up on the music and being so foolish to say something to Michael that he shouldn't have even if it was playful banter he could see the hurt flash in the green eyes from across the stage. Even though when Ashton apologized way to many times to the boys especially to Michael they reassured him every time that he was fine that there was no need to worry but, Ashton couldn't help _but_ worry.

He hurt his best friend's feelings and made mistakes, now he felt like shit wishing that he could turn back time and take back what he said and fix what he did but he can't and now there's nothing he can do about it but wallow in this fucking bathroom. And he can't fucking take it anymore the itching under his skin has become too much for him. He grabs the blade braking the soft skin on his fingers letting out a sob as he drags the cool metal across his thighs again and again and again. He lost count at 33 but kept going both thighs littered with deep bleeding lines, tears drip into the wounds the sting going unnoticed as he continues to whisper cruel insults to himself.   
~  
His eyes drooped with exhaustion he's scared now, knowing that he was about to die without a last kiss from the man he loved. The boys were out celebrating the last few shows of the rock out with your socks out tour with the joy of alcohol. Ashton had told them all he wasn't really in the mood to party, though he could see the apprehension in Luke's eyes, he reluctantly left.   
~  
He cried harder has he took his last few labored breathes the blood rusted metal long gone blending in with the crimson colored floor. And as he took in his last breath he could hear the front door open and his blond lover calling out for him multiple times before growing worried and rushing in and out of bedrooms then finally to the bathroom.

Ashton breathed out, the life left his eyes like the tears that escaped Luke's as he saw the lifeless body that once was his boyfriend lying slumped on the floor. Luke screamed knees slamming into the aluminum floor as he crawled to his once hazel eyed boy, his eyes now dark and soulless without love and compassion or feelings and it hurts. "Baby please wake up, Ashton, baby please" he pleaded and pleaded though he knew his baby had passed on by now there was nothing to do for him. Tears were streaming down his face a choked sob sounded in the tiny bathroom. "Ash I love you" Luke repeated before finally screaming the drummer's name as if ashton could hear Luke calling for him, wherever the place ashton inhabited now. He shook and trembled and he swore he could hear the morbid sound of his lover calling back to him. He closed his eyes sobbing into the collapse shoulder he heard it again the voice sounded frantic and worried so crisp and clear but a bit deeper, older almost.

When he opened his eyes he saw him-his boyfriend, hazel eyes frantic and most definitely alive. Luke quickly sat up looking around the room before he let his eyes land on the 21 year old and he took in the worried, tired eyes with his freshly cut hair and unshaven stubble he let out a sob grabbing the older boys naked shoulders hugging and Luke holding him tightly planting himself on the man's comfortable lap instead of the almost as comfortable bed. Luke let the tears fall from his oceanic colored eyes as Ashton softly rubbed his back whispering soothing words to him. When Luke finally started to calm down Ashton took the chance to ask "what happen baby, you were calling my name while you were sleeping, do you want to talk about it?" Luke was conflicted, he wasn't sure if he should tell his boyfriend that these nightmares have been going on for weeks now. He hadn't told anyone but the same therapist that Michael went to go see, she said it was from all the stress and anxiety about the hate that all four of the boys had been getting lately, sadly it's both Ashton and Michael that had been getting the most, triggering the nightmares. But this time it was different, Ashton had actually died in this one and that scares him. So he gives in, looking up and he sees sincerity in those pretty eyes. Telling Ashton everything from beginning to end, he nuzzled close to the older's neck as he got to this last nightmare lowering the volume in his voice and never looking up. As he finished he reluctantly looked up with tears in his sky blue eyes. Ashton sighed bringing the trembling boy closer "Lukey baby" he pauses, puffing out another breath, "please don't cry princess" he knew that word would cheer up the crying boy, he loved being called that 'it makes me feel beautiful' the blond had said the day he had admitted the liking to the word. He pressed the quivering boy closer to his chest humming a soft melody in his lover's ear "I love you Luke, and I know you know that I've stopped and that even if I do have sad days I'm going to be happy the next because I'm with you and our best friends traveling the world." He could hear the blond mumble out an 'I love you too'. Ashton rocked back and forth on the bed softly humming lulling Luke back to sleep.

After making sure his princess was fully asleep he laid he back down on the bed before laying beside him taking in his relaxed features."I'll be here as long as you want me here baby I'll love you forever" he whispered quietly to the sleeping boy before leaning over Luke to turn off the lamp darkness completely engulfing the room. He pulled the covers closer to their bodies and soon fell asleep to the soft puffs of air sliding past Luke's lips, Ashton loved his boy and nothing in the world could change that. 


End file.
